ABA Behavior Tech • 1-on-1 Kids' Superhero Needed in

About The Role

🛑🍕💜 **BREAKING: LOCAL HUMAN NEEDED. MUST HAVE A HEART. BRAIN ALSO RECOMMENDED. SENSE OF HUMOR? EXTREMELY ENCOURAGED.** 💜🍕🛑

New Haven, Connecticut… we have a job opening, and frankly, the imaginary committee of raccoons in charge of this announcement is getting impatient. 🦝📋

They've reviewed the applications.

They've eaten the paperwork.

They've unanimously decided: **WE NEED YOU.** 😭😂

💜🎉 **NOW HIRING: BEHAVIOR TECHNICIAN / ABA PARA!** 🎉💜

📍 **NEW HAVEN, CT**

🛑🥛🐄 **CRITICAL UPDATE: LOCAL HUMAN ACQUISITION PROTOCOL INITIATED. MUST POSSESS EMOTIONAL CAPACITY. EYE CONTACT NOT MANDATORY BUT HELPFUL.** 🐄🥛🛑

**Southbury, Connecticut**… we have an opening, and quite frankly, the local herd of aggressive dairy cows currently managing our recruitment software is losing patience. 🐄📋

They’ve stamped their hooves.

They’ve chewed the fiber-optic cables.

They’ve moo-nanimously decided: **WE NEED YOU.** 😭😂

💜🎉 **NOW HIRING: BEHAVIOR TECHNICIAN / ABA PARA!** 🎉💜

📍 **SOUTHBURY, CT**
💰 **$25–$30 PER HOUR!**
🧩 **HELP A CHILD UNLOCK THEIR POTENTIAL WHILE ACTUALLY ENJOYING YOUR LIFE!**

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🧪 **THE DEEPLY SCIENTIFIC VIBE CHECK**

Please proceed only if you can successfully navigate the following psychological inquiries:

🧦 Can you stay unbothered when a meticulously planned schedule flies completely out the window?

🎨 Can you turn a cardboard box into a high-stakes rocket ship without needing a Hollywood special effects team?

🏆 Do you cheer for a child successfully tying their shoes like your favorite team just won the Super Bowl in triple overtime? 🏈

🦆 Can you be entirely ridiculous for a laugh while simultaneously tracking precision behavioral data?

💜 Do you actually care about helping an autistic child navigate their world with confidence?

If you answered yes…

**CONGRATULATIONS. THE SOUTHBURY BOVINE COMMITTEE HAS DEEMED YOU WORTHY.** 🐄✅

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🎮 **YOUR DAILY QUESTS (WITH REAL PURPOSE)**

You’ll work one-on-one with an amazing kiddo, transforming behavior goals into real-world victories.

Your inventory of daily tasks will include:

🧩 Stealthily hiding speech and communication targets inside a game of tag.

🎲 Playing board games where the actual goal is learning how to take turns without a meltdown.

🎨 Becoming a master of high-fives, silly faces, and radical encouragement.

🌟 Witnessing tiny, monumental breakthroughs that completely change a family's trajectory.

Think less *"staring at a spreadsheet until your eyes glaze over like a morning donut"* and more using your brain, heart, and enthusiasm to build life skills.

**THIS ISN'T DATA ENTRY. IT'S HUMAN CONNECTION, RE-ENGINEERED.** 🥹💜

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💸 **THE PART THAT MAKES YOUR WALLET STOP CRYING**

💰 **$25–$30 PER HOUR!**

Your debit card just did a backflip.

Your student loans just took a deep, relaxed breath.

Your local barista has already started prepping your daily caffeine injection. ☕📈

⏰ **FLEXIBLE SHIFTS AVAILABLE**
We offer afternoon, evening, and weekend hours that slide perfectly around your university classes, your first job, or your existential dread.

🎓 **UPGRADE YOUR RESUME**
Studying Psychology, Social Work, Education, or Speech Pathology? This hands-on experience is pure gold on a grad school application.

🤝 **ZERO EXPERIENCE? DON'T PANIC.**
We aren't expecting you to arrive with a PhD in human behavior under your arm.

**NO RBT CERTIFICATION REQUIRED TO START!**
If you are kind, reliable, playful, and willing to learn, our BCBAs will teach you everything you need to know (and pay you while you learn it).

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🦸 **THE SPECS: HUMAN EDITION**

✅ You possess genuine empathy.

✅ You understand that progress takes time and repetition.

✅ You show up when you say you’re going to show up.

✅ You bring light, positive energy into a room.

✅ You can take feedback without taking it personally.

🚨 **BONUS POINTS IF YOU CAN SING "THE WHEELS ON THE BUS" IN AN OPERATIC VOICE WITH A STRAIGHT FACE.**

Please do not attempt this in front of a mirror first, your roommates will worry. 😭🎤

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📣 **SOUTHBURY, THIS IS YOUR SIGN.**

A job paying **$25–$30/hour**.